Nelson Leverages Corporate Buyout of GOP Challengers

With more money than all his challengers combined (Nelson's $3.2 million tops Senate race - OWH – 02/01/06), U.S. Senator Earl B. Nelson’s Campaign has decided to purchase the Ricketts, Kramer, and Stenberg Senate Campaigns, and merge them with his own to create one giant Conservative message holding company. With a total value of the GOP-three coming in at just $1,976,527 (with only $386,631 actually on hand), Nelson’s move was a shrewd one in the view of most Wall St. analysts.

“Nelson 2006 can synergize the efforts of those three campaigns to save costs, combine vote revenue and relax the advertising impact on voters across the state,” said an unnamed source within the Omaha World Herald Business pages.

“With the same message from all four of Support the President, Support the War and Confirm Conservative Justices, this really was a no-brainer from a business perspective. It’s amazing that Pete Ricketts, with all of his dad’s business background and money, didn’t think of it first,” continued the no-name source.

Nelson will now rename his campaign Nel-Ric-Kram-Sten (in the tradition of Ak-Sar-Ben and Pamida) and will begin attacking Chuck Hagel as a tax-and-spend Liberal.