Monday, June 11, 2007

GOP at the Precipice of the Crossroads

It’s barely June, nearly a full year before the U.S. Senate primaries, and we’ve already seen numerous potshots taken by candidates and pseudo-candidates for the job.

“Chuck Hagel isn’t a Nebraskan.”
“Jon Bruning is a liberal.”
“Chuck Hagel is an Independent.”
“Jon Bruning’s peeps write notes.”

In the words of A.J. Soprano: Can’t we all just get along?

And before anyone starts pointing fingers, there’s plenty of blame to go around for all this.

It might be wise for both the Hagel and Bruning camps to realize that taking the campaign to a low level (so early) may result in the whole GOP going down. To reference the Sopranos and/or the Godfather again, going to the mattresses is bad for business. Mark Quandahl may need to broker a sit-down before things really get out of hand (and that’s not a half-bad idea).

Keep in mind Nebraska GOP, that in the mean time, the Dems are sitting back laughing, laughing, laughing -- at you, not with you. Because they realize that they have no real candidates for the job, and figure they might just slip in anyway.

Heck, last year they didn’t even field candidates for State Treasurer or Attorney General. They had to pull a Republican in to run for Auditor. They elected a U.S. Senator who ran on a Republican platform and is generally reviled by the rest of his party because of it.

And who are they itching to bring in to run for Senate? The President of New York City’s “The New School”. Who just recently sent out an email to Nebraska Democrats claiming:
"Democrats … won more than 65% of county races throughout the state."
Only a New York Democrat could make such a ridiculous claim. (And we’ll let the excellent summary by the Nebraska GOP complete the critique of Cosmic Bob Kerrey on this – FYI, the actual number for the Dems was more like 23%...)

And what of their other wonder-boy, Omaha Mayor Mike Fahey, the Conqueror of Elkhorn? The Dems themselves say Fahey doesn’t really want the job. Fahey himself said he’d only like it so he could join the Senate “club”. New Omaha World Herald columnist Robert Nelson said this morning, while talking about the Disneyland colored water they put in Omaha’s Central Park Mall lagoon, suggested other items to the make it more Disney-like, such as:
Disney-like robot dolls in the Old Market.
An Ernie Chambers doll debating a Wil­liam Jennings Bryan doll…
A Paul Landow doll operating a Mayor Fahey doll with marionette strings.
(FINALLY someone else said it…)

Oh, and let’s not forget the Nebraska Dem’s savior from Yale: Scott Kleeb. Yes, Kleeb, who says he still wants to run for office in Nebraska, is now featured at a Democrat fundraiser in Washington D.C.. His moniker for the event?
“The Yalie Nebraskan”? No.
“The Guy Who Got 45% of the Vote in NE-3”? Nuh-uh.
“That dude who married the Dem–talking-head chick who’s on Fox all the time”?
No…Mr. Kleeb’s sobriquet is...“The Hot Rancher”. Honest to gawd.
(Oh, and by the way, remember it’s ranch HAND. We’ll be happy to change that as soon as he actually owns a ranch…)

So you see Nebraska GOP candidates, this is what you’re up against. And finally, to quote the Soprano's Little Carmine Lupertazzi, you are at “the precipice of an enormous crossroads.” And remember, when you reach that fork in the road…take it (instead of jamming it into someone’s back).


Smith Backer said...

Kleeb is dead in a state that's red. Guaranteed -- mostly due to Kleeb's choice of brides.

Eric said...

seems more like the precipice of a precipice

Street Sweeper said...

I'm not sure what you're getting at.

In any case, for those who don't watch the Sopranos, the "precipice of the crossroads" line is from a character (Little Carmine) who has a quotable malapropism every time he appears.

Seemed appropriate here.

buckturgidson said...

The prediction here says Bruning won't stop believin' and will be the GOP nominee and Bob Kerrey will be prostate with grief at the end of 08.

Street Sweeper said...

Now THAT's the spirit, Buck.

(Again, for the poor, HBO-less, uninformed, "Don't Stop Believin" was the last song played on the show and "prostate with grief" was a line by Tony...)

'Sker said...

Would that be "prostrate"?

Street Sweeper said... you get the joke then. Good.

Uncle Junior said...

Nice post, SS.

Seriously, are the Nebraska Dems predisposed for myths, slanders, and distortions? From Eric Fought's blatant plagarism of Leavenworth St. a few weeks back, to Kyle Michaelis's ridiculous and sanctimonious post about blogging integrity, to Bob Kerrey's terrible distortion of the November elections, it truly puts into perspective how desperate they are over there.

Besides, for all their bark about being competitive in every election I have yet to see them run a candidate on a truly Democrat ticket; all of their candidates are a watered-down version of a Republican because they know they can't sell liberalism (or 'progressiveness' as Kyle Michaelis likes to put it) to middle-America.

AchuMan said...

Today I read that MidAmerican Energy Co. will pay a $27,500 fine for not fully following Iowa environmental laws in building its Council Bluffs coal plant.
This is just another reason David Sokol wants someone like Bruning to take marching orders in the U.S. Senate.

buckturgidson said...

Uh-huh. And I'm sure Chuck Hagel never, ever used his spot in the senate to help Mike McCarthy.

It's just Sokol and Bruning. Yeah, that's it.

'Sker said...

(light bulb on) Achhh-haaaaaaaaaa!

Anonymous said...

The more appropriate name for Kleeb is the "Pro Bono Cowboy/Rancher". If you recall Kleeb never paid income tax in Nebraska where he represented himself as a resident.

Anonymous said...

"Kleeb never paid income taxes". I see that lie continues to be spread. He did pay taxes because he got a regular paycheck from the ranch starting in 1998. Doubt that? Just call the McGinn Ranch and ask, and they will confirm it. It's sad that the lies continue to be the only way for some people to make themselves feel superior. That and the hate-filled comments that keep coming up about Jane. But I guess when issues are something you can't defend, the lies and hate are all you have left. Karl Rove couldn't be prouder.